Monday, June 2, 2014

Don't toy with me


So I got a request a while back to do a list of
the most bizarre sex toys I have seen on the internet.

Thanks JackSmile for this awesome challenge!

And trust me, I have seen plenty!

Toys are awesome.
But some are just too over the top even for my taste.

I went back to explore some of the sites where I've seen
the creepiest of play things ever created.


No 1.  Silicon Helmut the German Sheppard

Ever wondered what it would be like to have sex
with a male... wait for it...

DOG?  More specifically a German Sheppard.

I hope the answer is a big fat NO.
Good. Me either.

This is just wrong.
I mean, of course it's BETTER than actually doing it with a dog,
but it's still sick as fuck.


No 2. Artificial Hymen

So there seems to be a way to restore your virginity! promises that with their product you can:


They also promise a free immediate delivery all over the world.

Seems legit.

And gross.
Fake blood in your v-jayjay - CREEPY.
OR appealing?

No 3. Realistic sex dolls.

Ever wanted to have sex to a small, silicone, anime character?

It's possible!
And expensive.

So if you're rich and extremely disturbed,
you go on ahead.

Just try not to forget real human contact.
Because the only thing creepier than a guy playing with dolls,
is a guy pretending that the doll is real and dragging it around.

that's the whole point of it!

Just trust me on this one.

No 4. The Tentacle

Okay... so who wouldn't like to be raped by a giant tentacle-monster?

Say AYE!

I'm kind of torn about this one.
When I think about The Tentacle in use, it creeps me out,
but I find the idea of it funny and cool.

But don't think for a second that I would ever put it to use.
It looks incredibly uncomfortable.

No 5. Bruce the Shark

Following up in the footsteps of the previous monstrosity
is Bruce the Shark.

I've seen Jaws, but not once did I pause it to wonder
if the great white had multiple penises.

Definitely news to me.
This one too looks unusable in my eyes,
I just don't know how that would ever slide in.

No 6.  Hotdoll

Okay so dogs are said to be man's best friends.
I would second that opinion.

As a dog person I think this would be the perfect end
to the list of the most bizarre sex toys I have ever seen.

Not all sex toys are for people.
This one is a legitimate sex toy for canine use.

A poochie pounding doll...
It looks weird as fuck.

But I guess it might help some of the hyper active dogs out there...
Might not be the best ice breaker when you have guests over though.

" What's  that? "
" Uhm..  I  uhm..  It's  an..  uhm.. "

Yeah. Awkward.

So there we have it, 6 of the most bizarre sex toys I've ever come across the internet.
Hope you enjoyed this post and if you did, remember to share it with your friends!

You can also find me on Twitter @Anonymous92126.

PS. What was your favorite creepy-sex toy?
Comment below! And if you have seen something even MORE BIZARRE
let us know and include the link in your comment!

Also remember to send me some of your questions for the upcoming Q&A!

© Anonymous92126


  1. Well, this was fun... wait WHAT did I just see?! :D

    1. My reaction the first time I came by these creepy little fuckers.. :D

  2. Definitely nothing I expected but I'm not disappointed!

    The hymen thing is probably vital for suvival in some countries still, since non-virgins get stoned to death.

    The dog penis and such, yeah, a little creepy, but definitely better choice than the actual dog. People got their fetishes and if they got a safe channel to get the relief without hurting anyone, it's always good.

    The realistic sex doll is probably going to be history soon, since they're now developing a videogame that you can play with your dick.Some sort of highly advanced sex simulator with Oculus Rift and some kind of penis operated controller.

    The creepiest but still kind of awesome was the shark. Holy shit. It's like a really horny street shark with a double dick coming your way.

    Thanks for the post!

    I have a yet another question regarding sex toys. There's been a lot of talk about these recently, and I've found out that people are a little scared of sex toys.

    Lots of guys think that huge spinning and squirming vibrators make dicks useless and raise the bar too high, and girls are afraid that if computer controlled sex simulators and internet porn get too advanced guys will no longer want the actual real life sex anymore. What do you think?

    Will one button orgasms be the end of humanity?

    1. Thank you for your comment!

      I do believe fake hymens are generally a good invention, but then again, it will not proceed knowledge of the rapes or the fact that not all women bleed. It's still gross and kind of creepy.

      And thank you for the topic request! I will leave my commentary on the subject 'till later for the actual post. :)


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