What is the music of life?

"Silence, my brother."

How long has it been since my last post to you, my dear readers?

WAY TOO LONG. I miss you guys.

The reason for my vacation is a valid one,

I got my new Fapmachine!

It's an Asus G750 JM. ♥

I love it.so.fucking.much.

So now that I have my new plaything, how have I been spending my precious time?
Take a wild guess...

Correct. 10 points for Gryffindor!

If you guessed GAMING, that is. I feel like such a geek.

But who the fuck cares! As long as I'm happy, right?

Well, my dad cares. We've had plenty of fights about games

and how much time I spend on them. Not to mention the money.

It's been resolved though. A hundred times or so.

While I was taking a break from blogging, I got an interesting

request for a topic: A sequel to my post Don't toy with me.

The topic was requested by JackSmile, just like the original post.

I think the comment was very interesting [you can find it HERE] 

and obviously I'm gonna satisfy my dear readers. No doubt about it.

It's about 6 am now and it's time for me to see sexy dreams,

so I will publish the sequel later today.

Adios! ☺

PS.   The Q&A video I promised on Twitter will be posted next week.

PPS. Have any topic requests? 

         And do you recognize where the question of the headline is from?

©  Anonymous92126

1st Challenge - DAY 6

This one is a pain in the ass. So many memories to choose from!
But still, it's gotta be done.

A walk through memory lane.

1. When I was about 5 years old, I was walking our dog, Remu.
    He was usually a perfect gentleman, but that day he saw something fun
    and started to run all of a sudden, so I fell and both of my legs grinded against the ground.
    They were bleeding from my knees to my ankles and I was crying a lot
    while my mom and my dad bandaged me up. It had been raining a little that day
    and then the Sun came out and brought a very bright double rainbow with it.
    I finally stopped crying, so we all drove to the city to go get some ice cream.
    Even though I remember it being painful it's a really happy memory and I will cherish it forever.

2. At this point I was already in school, maybe in the first or second grade.
    In Finland we start school at the age of 7, so I must have been about 7-8.
    All my neighbours were boys and I was over at my best friends house,
    that was just at the end of the road. We were playing cops and robbers.
    I was tying to save one of the robbers from jail and was running towards
    him, but the police noticed me and I had to get to a safe spot, which was a tree
    in the middle of their yard. I ran and just got there in time and leaned my back against it
    to catch my breath and rest after the run. The tree was filled with ants.
    There were thousands of them on it and after just a few seconds there was
    hundreds of them crawling inside my shirt and on it! Ants bite, you know.
    So I started screaming and running around and finally when nothing helped I
    started to run home and just took my shirt off. And I had nothing under it.
    Topless and humiliated in front of my friends I ran home and cried like the little girl that I was.
    It was horrible then because I was so embarrassed, but now I find horror in the ants.
    I'm not big on bugs. I even hate butterflies.
    And while spiders are the absolute worst, I'm not a fan of ants either.

3. One of the best memories of my life is when I met my current best friend.
    She transferred to my school at 6th grade and every girl in the class was
    so critical about what she was wearing and how she didn't seem to give a fuck    
    about what they had to say about her. I liked her instantly.
    After the day was over we sat down together at the stairs of the school and
    while I waited for my mom to come pick me up we started talking.
    The conversation started with her asking me: "Do you like dogs?"
    You all should already know the answer to this one, and with it we instantly bonded.
    My mom offered her a ride home, because we found out she lived close.
    After that moment we spent almost every day together with out dogs, just running in the woods.
    Because back then kids used to actually go outside and not spend all
    their time inside playing video games. Ah, the good old days.

4. This is one of the funniest memories I have and it takes place when I was 16.
     My two cousins and me took a trip to my family's cottage.
     Obviously there was some drinking, playing cards, music and marshmallows!
     The night was epic and I still have the pictures to prove it.
     I think they will explain it better than I ever could. So here's a few of my favorite ones:

Using my cousin to keep my balance while nomming the absolute fuck out of a marshmallow.

We don't really have a clear memory of what was going on when this picture was taken.
I think I might secretly be a ninja.

I think we finally lost our balance.
She seems to be enjoying being on top.

5. The ultimate happiest memory of my life is when my dog Maxim was born.
    The litter of 9 was born 10.04.2011. And I was right there helping deliver the pups into this world.
    When I first saw Maxim I just knew that he was going to be the most important thing in my life.



So that was it for the 6th day! And I will see you all back here tomorrow for day seven.
I hope you enjoyed it and I wish you'd share some of your epic moments with me in the comments below!


© Anonymous92126

Fuckability

Hey everyone!

Yesterday I got the most interesting request for a topic.
So a big thanks to one of my readers, you know who you are!

Today we're gonna take a trip to a mysterious and
a very misunderstood location on the social map: THE FRIENDZONE.

Contrary to the general belief: everyone has one.
Not just the ladies.

And before you start to throw things at me,
just give me a minute to share my point of view.

First of all, everyone just can't be attracted to everyone.
Nu-uh! Don't give me that I'll tap just about anything !  -look.

You WOULDN'T.
You only wanna fuck the HOT friends you've got.

Sure, that's normal.
We wanna fuck you too, if you're able to meet our standards.

Here are 10 steps you can follow in order to determine your fuckability:

1. Go stand in front of a mirror.

2. Think - you can use either your brain or your penis, not both - are you good looking?
    (NO ♦ Stop reading now and go cry in a corner or lower your standards)
    (YES ♦ Continue to step 3)
 
3. Are you interesting?
    (NO ♦ Go read a book, preferably about flirting)
    (YES ♦ Mmk, you sure? Fine.. continue to part 4)

4. Was she emotionally available when you met her?
    (NO ♦ She sees you as a bro, continue to part 5)
    (YES, at least I think so ♦ Continue to part 6)

5. Does she believe in sex between just friends?
    (NO ♦ Game over)
    (YES ♦ Continue to part 6)

6. Does she know you think she's fuckable?
    (NO ♦ Let her know -> fuck her)
    (YES ♦ Either she has her eye on someone else
     or then you screwed up at any of these steps: 1-5)

If these steps didn't help or
you want a relationship with her - continue to step 7.

7. Run, that bitch is fucked up.

If you're still not satisfied with the results,
better check steps 8. and 8.1.

8. Maybe she likes you, but thinks you just wanna fuck her, do you?
    (NO, I would love to date her ♦ GREAT, ask her out)
    (YES ♦ Game over)

8.1. Maybe she thinks you like her and doesn't wanna hurt your feelings, do you?
     (NO ♦ Okay, let her know that too -> fuck her)
     (YES ♦ Better not get involved with her)

If you're an asshole that just ignored the 8th step, feel free to continue to step 9.

9. Take her out on a date or two, until you get her to bed. Never call again.
    (NO ♦ You sure you don't like her? Because it seems you do.
     But if you're really sure, continue to step 10. Or repeat step 8 until you answer NO)
    (YES ♦ GREAT, remember to use a condom)

10. Go fuck yourself. No one wants a guy, who can't even admit to his own feelings.
      (I CAN! ♦ We don't like liars either, either you like her or you're not really an asshole)
      (FUCK YOU! ♦ Stop being such a little pussy and man up, bro)


There comes a time when we have to admit that some people just aren't that into us.
It's inevitable.

I don't wanna fuck anyone if I'm not drawn to them sexually.
Just a fact.

I have friends that are extremely fuckable
and then the ones that are great friends, but that I don't even want to imagine naked.

And then there are those friends that you've known for forever,
and just don't wanna risk anything, you know.
What if the sex was really, really bad? Awkward.

You have that kinds of friends too, so...
Congratulations, you have just located your friendzone!

Has anyone ever gotten out of the friendzone?
Comment below!

© Anonymous92126