Fuckability

Hey everyone!

Yesterday I got the most interesting request for a topic.
So a big thanks to one of my readers, you know who you are!

Today we're gonna take a trip to a mysterious and
a very misunderstood location on the social map: THE FRIENDZONE.

Contrary to the general belief: everyone has one.
Not just the ladies.

And before you start to throw things at me,
just give me a minute to share my point of view.

First of all, everyone just can't be attracted to everyone.
Nu-uh! Don't give me that I'll tap just about anything !  -look.

You WOULDN'T.
You only wanna fuck the HOT friends you've got.

Sure, that's normal.
We wanna fuck you too, if you're able to meet our standards.

Here are 10 steps you can follow in order to determine your fuckability:

1. Go stand in front of a mirror.

2. Think - you can use either your brain or your penis, not both - are you good looking?
    (NO ♦ Stop reading now and go cry in a corner or lower your standards)
    (YES ♦ Continue to step 3)
 
3. Are you interesting?
    (NO ♦ Go read a book, preferably about flirting)
    (YES ♦ Mmk, you sure? Fine.. continue to part 4)

4. Was she emotionally available when you met her?
    (NO ♦ She sees you as a bro, continue to part 5)
    (YES, at least I think so ♦ Continue to part 6)

5. Does she believe in sex between just friends?
    (NO ♦ Game over)
    (YES ♦ Continue to part 6)

6. Does she know you think she's fuckable?
    (NO ♦ Let her know -> fuck her)
    (YES ♦ Either she has her eye on someone else
     or then you screwed up at any of these steps: 1-5)

If these steps didn't help or
you want a relationship with her - continue to step 7.

7. Run, that bitch is fucked up.

If you're still not satisfied with the results,
better check steps 8. and 8.1.

8. Maybe she likes you, but thinks you just wanna fuck her, do you?
    (NO, I would love to date her ♦ GREAT, ask her out)
    (YES ♦ Game over)

8.1. Maybe she thinks you like her and doesn't wanna hurt your feelings, do you?
     (NO ♦ Okay, let her know that too -> fuck her)
     (YES ♦ Better not get involved with her)

If you're an asshole that just ignored the 8th step, feel free to continue to step 9.

9. Take her out on a date or two, until you get her to bed. Never call again.
    (NO ♦ You sure you don't like her? Because it seems you do.
     But if you're really sure, continue to step 10. Or repeat step 8 until you answer NO)
    (YES ♦ GREAT, remember to use a condom)

10. Go fuck yourself. No one wants a guy, who can't even admit to his own feelings.
      (I CAN! ♦ We don't like liars either, either you like her or you're not really an asshole)
      (FUCK YOU! ♦ Stop being such a little pussy and man up, bro)


There comes a time when we have to admit that some people just aren't that into us.
It's inevitable.

I don't wanna fuck anyone if I'm not drawn to them sexually.
Just a fact.

I have friends that are extremely fuckable
and then the ones that are great friends, but that I don't even want to imagine naked.

And then there are those friends that you've known for forever,
and just don't wanna risk anything, you know.
What if the sex was really, really bad? Awkward.

You have that kinds of friends too, so...
Congratulations, you have just located your friendzone!

Has anyone ever gotten out of the friendzone?
Comment below!

© Anonymous92126

Labels for daters

Hello readers.

Today I will give you a very sexclusive view
on a subject that's the talk of the day.
It was requested by one of my readers and I happily obliged.

We are all born in a certain way - with genitals.
And while not including people born intersexed,
that is what defines us biologically. What separates the genders.
Or at least it used to be.

Nowadays it's not quite as simple as that.
We have the third sex: the transgendered, androgynous
and the pangendered people, who wanna have it all.
I just call them greedy.

And if having more than two genders to look out for on
the dating scenario isn't confusing enough, lets bring sexuality into the picture.

Lets see.. hetero,  gay,  bi,  tran,  pan..  who can even keep count?
No wonder people like to date online when hooking up
has taken a step to  what the fuck -town.

I mean damn.
Now you need wikipedia just to make sure you don't offend people
by not understanding what their sex is.

And please, don't take this the wrong way.
I don't shun people because of what they have in their pants
or who they wanna screw. Sure, lets all be good friends.

But someone please shed some light on the situation.
How are we supposed to know what meat to eat?
The menu is just impossible to read if every dish is written in a different language.

Is gender becoming obsolete?
And why do some of us still have the need to define ourselves?

Share your thoughts!

© Anonymous92126